Can EX's be friends

Anyone who has had a girlfriend or a significant other know what it is like sharing their lives together, but what happens when the relationship sours and the two of you are no longer together? Depending on what caused the break up people react different. Usually if someone cheated or the relationship got ugly, people don't want to stay in contact. From personal experience I found that to be the easiest for a clean break up. You go on with your separate lives never having to see each other ever again, but the con of that scenario are all those lost memories of time spent with that person, all the good and bad times but that could be a good thing(depending on how good you were towards the other person).

On the other hand if it was a mutual drama free break up people are more open to staying together as friends. I was never one for staying as friends because those feelings whether your together or not, are still there. You still have reactions left over from the relationship, maybe still a little possessive and just little thing that have to change from BF and GF to friends. Now that being said I tried it and didn't work out too well for various reasons. She wanted to be good friends not just friends but I felt being taken advantage of and she thought I was annoying. Eventually it snowballed into a string a fights and now we are no longer speaking. Doesn't matter friend, ex lovers, what ever label you want to put it there are going to be jealousy problems. I was perhaps a little too into her private life, that what mean that its hard going from BF and GF to friends, because while you were in the relationship you told each other everything and now there are issues that are the elephants in the room you and to talk about them but you know it might be awkward. A bit of topic here but I am a cancer so I am naturally shy at first but once you get to know me and I get comfortable with you I open up alot. People who I am comfortable with I am a very straight with them and I don't beat around the bush, so naturally I asked her some question that I thought was ok.....not smart... but we were good enough friends to talk about, perhaps to draw the line that we are friends and no longer together. The question being has she hooked up with anyone since we broke up? and this was 4-5 months since we broke up. She didn't want to answer and from that it went from a small question into a big problem because I was very open to her and if it was vice versa I would have answered without a second thought. Now I know it might seem like I was not over her but thats not the case. Its difficult seeing the other person happy regardless if your over the relationship or not. People want to WIN the break(reference to How I Met Your Mother)so jealous is going to occur not because of feeling for the person but your own personal insecurities. Now back to the situation, so I felt like as good friends I wouldn't keep anything from you and you shouldn't keep anything from me. I thought that would be fair since I was honest and open with her. She felt it was none of my business which is true but i was treating her like one of my good friends. It wasn't that she possibly hooked up with someone but how she went around and not answering the question, thats what really ticked me off. Every case has it complications, someone always gets hurt one way or another. which is a reason why EX's as friends is not a good idea.

I could go on for pages on this topic but to close it up, its hard enough for guys and girls to be friends(thats a whole other topic for another time) But as EX's I think its possible to be friends but not good friends. Of course I am generalizing here there're always exceptions, some cases it does work but I think people are better of being just surface level friends, maybe FB friends but thats about it. Even if it works out then when you move on to your next relationship what happens? Your new love is going to have problems that your so close to your EX and then your in a tough position between your new relationship and you old one. After dating a while we know how to push each other buttons and sometimes don't give the other person the respect they deserve because we know we can get away with it. If you insist on becoming friends please respect each other, there are already so many problems in life you don't want to go out creating more. Although its hard throwing away all those memories, the truth is your cling on the past and having a hard time letting go. I would love for comments and your opinions, maybe some stories as well, take care!